The Darkness Within

I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! :( I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK!  :'( I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! :( I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! I NEED MY DESK BACK! 

Then Ike would say: Then do it.

I have to spend some time today putting my shit back together. It's end-of-year and I need to have that space, the corner of the room where I can shut out all the distractions and get lost in what I do. I've been uncomfortable in my own being. As I'm writing this, the posture is bad, the lighting is worse and I'm just not happy. 

Jackie Demon Daniels, I saw your comment about greatness, and I'll address that too.

We all... let me try to put this very plainly.

We.All.Can.Be.Great.

Each word of that is important. And I mean them. I've had a great time doing this so far, but there has to be a way I can do it without getting pissed off. Some people will be leaving. Maybe for a while, maybe permanently. Some people I have tried finding OTHER resources to refer them to after the change.

What bothered me most lately was this whole themed issue. Let me discuss this with you.

The theme was a great idea, and we all got so excited about it! I think I did some pretty good stuff. I know I learned a lot, and I'm probably going to learn even more as we go. DDM is a journal of my own personal progress, and I invited all of you to join me. I love the idea of all of us being able to grow and learn and support each other. THIS BEING SAID, I've been very upset lately. This was what I was worried might happen. If I don't resolve these issues, they're going to eat me alive.

PERSONAL ISSUES: I wake up in pain. Every day. I continue to be in pain. When I get up, I can't eat. It makes me sick, so I'll never have breakfast in bed again. So be it. The pain starts growing, so I get up and wander through the house trying to distract myself from it. I try to be as cheerful as I can be - anything to work past the pain. I'm trying so hard to NOT let it steal my joy. I can't take pain meds until I eat something, eating something makes me SICK. Pain meds make me SLEEPY. I can go back to sleep and 14-18 hours will go past. I try very hard NOT to take these pills, they're just toxic to me.

I know you're all going to try and suggest HOW to fix this, I love you for that. It's JUST THE WAY it is.

John was at my house last week, and I had Half a burger and 2 mozzarella sticks. I offered him the other half, he refused to take it from me. I wrapped up the other half, and told him, "You can have it, or I can have it LATER." John, I hope you understand WHY I only eat half a burger and put it away, give it away, etc. 

FAMILY ISSUES: I had it out with someone at 3am last night. I'm sick of the BULLSHIT and told them so. They have the nerve to play HURT over it, but they are WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, about this. When your bullshit affects my MOTHER, you're going to have your head handed to you. I was SO angry last night, I stood up. I was THAT angry, Ike. 

FRIEND ISSUES: 

I have been actually planning in my mind how best to hurt a person. I seriously wanted to hurt them. Physical pain aside, I KNOW one of the best ways to hurt this person is emotionally. I know the exact words to say to bring them to a point of DESPAIR and GREAT SORROW. I've been laying this situation out on the operating table for days, just examining all the facts. Like a surgeon cutting with few and precise strokes, I PLANNED it. I reached out to others for help.

I'm planning to hurt someone.

I'm planning to hurt someone.

I'm planning to hurt someone.

I'm planning to hurt someone. (Oh my god jeezuz help me dont let me be that person i know better but all i can do is think about revenge and my soul is shaken and i dont wanna be this person help me help me help me)

I reached out because my thoughts were so DARK, and was told, "Do what you have to do."

please don't tell me that.

The plan changed. I began to play with EVIL. I began to think about ways to demoralize, emasculate and humiliate this person. I started talking about ways I planned on bringing this person to an ULTIMATE low in their lives. I AGONIZED over it, telling myself this was NOT the way to handle the situation. SEEK HELP.

i know if i do this it's going to ruin his life it's going to change his soul it's going to hurt him in ways no one had ever hurt him and every minute i think about it it's getting worse and i don't want to be this person and god SAVE me from myself because i don't wanna hurt him like that i dont wanna hurt ANYBODY like that i dont want to be this person oh my GOD why have you fucking forsaken me give me a sign help me save me help me keep me from being the worst possible person on the earth help me help me help me help me help me...

And I reached out again... I TOLD people what I was planning on doing. I bared my soul and I uncovered the pit of darkness inside me and I SHOWED them. I dropped a brick down the hole and it never hit bottom. They saw what I was capable of doing to another person on this earth...

and I was told: "Do what you have to do."

Some offered to videotape it.

In less than 30 minutes, I'll have to make a decision. I'm tired and soul-weary. Poison has been coursing through my body for almost ten days. I've been TOXIC. I need to calm down and breathe as if it were my LAST breath. I need to center. I need to heal. I need to remain the person I have tried so hard to be.

I want to be a healer, but sometimes, you really do have to let people loose.

If you continue to keep pissing in the pool of Blessed Water, you can't be here anymore.

I think that probably explains it all.

A Message for my Friends

Silliness and false eyelashes...

BLAK T.V. Ep. 1

The gift of sex & friendship

I like having sex with someone that appreciates my body. Someone that finds me attractive. Someone that seeks out my company for the love of being near me. I enjoy someone that can keep up with me, that likes to try new things and respects my boundaries. I could have sex for the sake of having it, but I choose to spend my time with someone worthy of the time and energy I expend. I want to release my soul, to give it to someone who knows the value of it. I am blessed... BLESSED... make no mistake. I share this with the ones who deserve it. I don't waste my time on negative energy, or people that misunderstand the amazing gift I give of myself. When I give myself, I give more of myself to that person than I do to others. I allow them privileges awarded to no other. To call me a special name. To know my secrets. To share a piece of each other in a way no one else does.

A Shadow Beside

He sits beside me and whispers in my ear.
Such clarity and logic in what I hear.
He's so seductive in his ways,
so literate and intelligent in his phrase
and ohh how I want him.
Darkness in a dark place, he keeps me company
sitting so close I can feel his breath on my neck.
Deep tones, a soothing soliloquy
that speaks to and from the heart of me,
he touches nothing but my soul.
Acceleration of the alliteration moves me
stirs me, inspires, accentuating desires
and ohh how I want him. 

Thanksgiving

I'm thankful that I get to sleep with my best friend whenever I want.

I'm thankful for my ride-or-die, my number one, the person that has my back. I'm thankful for having one person that knows me better than anyone else. For the person I can tell some of my darkness to without fear of judgement. I'm thankful for the understanding and acceptance I get daily. I'm thankful for honesty.

Thank you.

For pictures I can't post on FB, come and like, comment, share & +1 on this post!

If you people really want me to kick up the content rating around here, you have to let me know! I have photographers ready to start taking some pictures for the new year! Show me some love and I'll show it right back! - MDG

Coming soon!

December 1, 2013 will bring a new issue of Darkgoddess Designs Magazine! I can't wait! - MDG

Happy Thanksgivukkah!

Once every 77,000 years. Bless you all and have a GREAT holiday! - MDG 

GANY Gambino - Trinidad LAMES

Venus Jade Media: JellyBellyUKSSBBW - Alternative Model

Venus Jade Media: JellyBellyUKSSBBW - Alternative Model

When he comes, he's ready...

When he comes, he's ready and determined to make things right for me. He knows of my need because I am honest with him. I'm not afraid or ashamed of telling him, because his love for me is deep. I am secure in it, and I feel free to lay both my soul and body bare to him. He has a name for me; others have tried to call me by the same name, but it only rings true when he says it. His hands in my hair. His teeth on the back of my neck. His voice gruff with his own need whispering it into my ear. He holds me against him and tortures me with long caresses mixed with his nails down the length of my body. He delights in my intake of breath and the sighs. He is victorious in the movement of my body closer to him. I arch my back and rest my head against his shoulder, again he calls my name and I am lost to him. Eyes closed, heart open, every purr he draws from me fueling his energy more.
"Beast," I call him.
He laughs and pauses.
"Do you want me to stop?"
The mind-shattering moment of my soul wanting one thing and my body wanting another. I center myself, and remind myself to lay my faith in his able hands.
"No."
His evil chuckle before he bites me again drives me crazy. He is firm but gentle in his touch, always this way, always my lover before all else. Only when he is sure that my pleasure is at the forefront, when he hears my breathing change, and the sound I make when my world has changed colors, that is when he takes me.
He always seems to find me wherever I am, and brings me back to the present with his savage tenderness. I am his, and he makes he know it. He already knows my reactions to his touches and compensates for them. He expects and anticipates how each kiss and stroke brings me under his control, further and deeper in his hold. He knows when I have problems giving him the control he needs, and he is ready. Such a small, innocent looking piece of rope but so handy... quickly he binds my hands. I relax knowing when the time comes, when I come, I will not hurt him with my blind fury. He senses when I can not shut out the outside world, and blindfolds me. The colors I see in my mind are stunning and vivid and he makes them dance and shift hues. His love is a deep blue, and we bond in it. His fuck is a electric purple, and it surrounds us. The whole world apart from us and we exist on another plane. There is no more them, only us.
"I couldn't wait to get here", says he.
"I needed you so much", say I. My heart breaks with the truth of it. Every minute we have together is a stolen one so every second is precious and never wasted. Even in the afterglow, all we speak is truth - the things we tell no one else. We are confidants, lovers and friends.
We know his time is almost done, and the sadness of it begins to creep into the corners of our world like a poison. No clocks, but we know by the sunrise that he will be leaving. He runs his hands through my hair, as if to remember the feel of it later. I pout and give him the look that makes him laugh. He kisses my lower lip and says, "I have to go."
Nooo.
"I know."
I prolong it by teasing him with long nails down his back, across his belly but the inevitable still comes. He kisses me goodbye again and again, after each piece of clothing goes on. The final kiss is the most heart-breaking because every time...
every damn time...
he kisses me like it's the LAST time.

It was hot, because I had F****d him before...

It was hot, because I had F****d him before, years ago. Thinking back at one point in the conversation, two out of four in the room were trying HARD not to listen to, we went back in time together to a house party and a dark room. "When's the last time we saw each other?" "Oh, years, isn't it?" "Hmm." We passed the joint back and forth as if we were old friends, which we are, kind of. "I definitely like smoking with YOU," I said. The last time we had smoked, he came on to me in a house full of people. That took balls. I like assertive people, but you have to have charm. Flashback to a dark room and three people. What turned me on the most, is that he kept saying my name. People LOVE that shit, it's something I do all the time. The barrage of sex hormones flooded me. I was wet almost the entire time. He goes easy, and I like him. He goes hard and I stop liking him. One of us was covered in blood. We're still not sure where it came from but it wasn't mine. Oh my GAWD, how I enjoyed fucking that man. I might have to call him again, I was thinking when he asked, "So when are we throwing the next house party?" The two that were trying not to listen said, "Whoa... no more parties." I said, "What do you mean WE? I do ME all the time. You do you, them do them." He laughed and said "You haven't had a party in years." I told him, "I had parties but you weren't on the list." Actually shocked him. "Why not?" "Different kind of people at THOSE parties." I smiled at him and he held out a fist. Bump. "I hear you." At that point in the conversation, the other two were trying to change the subject. I'm glad they did, because my heart was beating hard and fast. I was a racecar in the red. My body was hot to the touch, because my soul was on FIRE. Would I do him again? In a New York Minute. - MDG

It could be easy - Video

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

Making of "It Could Be Easy"

OMG i hate webcam shit. (Meaning video-recording using a web cam) You don't know what I GO through... :) Nah, just kidding. I LOVE this stuff. So I made a video of me getting ready to make a video. Inception? I wouldn't know, I've never seen it. Yeah, everybody's seen it, but not me. I kind of shy away from Leo DiCaprio movies. 2% rendered, first draft. I'm learning as I go. I keep messing with (ugh another inbox) brb. I keep messing with video styles, which I'm going to have to REALLY study up on. The program I'm using doesn't have enough addons for me yet. My photoshop has TONS, which I keep on a disk located on an external drive. Brushes, effects, etc. Video is still something I want to mess with, including animation. I just poke around the edges. I'm starting to get braver though. AND, my files are a mess. Dre's always look so PERFECT, UGH!!!!! Everything in well labeled folders. Obnoxious. To my inbox: "That's nice", which means "Go Fuck Yourself" right now. 9% rendered. Jeez. Long night ahead since I can't (Can't I?) make a video WHILE rendering another video. I mean, I COULD, but it would just be confusing, LOL. 17% OMFG!!!! 23???? ARRGHHHHH I mean I'm talking with someone, but DAYUM Disc Golf Video with Damien. Go watch it, it's interesting. On another note: Pyrex dildos. Awesome :) I really must look that up. So in the course of conversation, I realized that the secret to making people happy is by keeping them busy. Everyone needs to feel useful and wanted. Providing them a way to do so in a creative manner is a blessing to me AND to them. Not just ANY BS, but to find what they are GREAT at and provide them an opportunity to SHINE. To show what makes them special. To teach others. To share experiences. And do be able to do that while having a completely bare ass is a plus. I hate clothes. I'm very uncomfortable in them. So since I just finished having one of THOSE conversations, which start out 30 minutes of discussion and five minutes of watching someone cum while assisting them with imagery or words in the dark. While still rendering video... and laying with the cool breeze of the standing fan blowing across my half naked body. It's times like these when I really enjoy my life. But Morgana... why we no can see naked ass? I know, darlings. Some social media frown on that sort of thing. But here's a pic of me right now :)

Believe it or not, some people get off on that :) Of course I'm very engaged in conversation, and talking about HOW I'd use certain items of pleasure on them for my OWN amusement, Well, hot diggity dayum. :D It's fun. 73% Finished the video, but doing it again to remove the music track. It was a bit too much :) But I really enjoy the process. I make one video for FB uploading, but I've been doing YouTube at a higher quality. I think it's going to work out for the best this way, but we shall see :) This video is just me putting on eyeliner and chatting with YOU before I start talking to people in private. I do cam and discuss many things with people, but honestly - I have to admit I really do enjoy watching people performing sexual acts JUST FOR ME. :D Sometimes I'll join them, not just ANYBODY but certain people. Peace, bitches :) MDG

Time for eyeliner?

Sorry, I've been missing, but I have new stories :) Forgive me?

#Fired #PinkSlip #DearCongress @MorganaDGoddess pic.twitter.com/cas6p9w1rl

— MorganaDarkgoddess (@MorganaDGoddess) October 2, 2013

#Fired #PinkSlip #DearCongress @MorganaDGoddess pic.twitter.com/cas6p9w1rl

— MorganaDarkgoddess (@MorganaDGoddess) October 2, 2013

How To Make a Thanksgiving Turkey without Killing all your Relatives.

How To Make a Thanksgiving Turkey without Killing all your Relatives. Seriously - just go check this out.

If there is another you love more, then I ask of you this. First and last, just one kiss and I will happily go. The moment of a lifetime, a passion years in the making saying a thousand words that never existed.

Darcaena helle

I was born into a world of hate. My mother hated my father, my father hated his family. They both hated the life they lived. When I was born, my mother probably hated me as well. She was not the kind of person suited for motherhood. Having a yowling brat was too much for her. I've been stomped, kicked, beaten, cursed at and I've had hair pulled out of my head. Bad enough she kept them for whatever reason in an envelope. The day I found THAT out was as much a shock to me at 8 years old as it was to the neighbor that she showed it to. I was raised in a world of hate. Don't be a faggot or I'll disown you. If you ever bring a black guy home, don't expect to ever come back in. Don't be a whore like your cousin. Don't stutter or I'll beat it out of you - do you wanna be a retard like Jimmy? (Who btw was brilliant, he just stuttered.) Bitch, cunt, kike, nigger, spic, wop, dyke. I grew up in a world of hate. Everyone hated everyone. Wars, gang violence, rapes - all being blasted at my childish mind by a large box. All I wanted was to watch Sesame Street. Enough! Sit down, shut up and go watch TV! Talk shows and crime shows and the worst of humanity being brought to you every hour of the day. Gossip and kvetching and music being shit these days. Your cousin can sing, shame you can't. Teachers telling me, "Well, you're pretty on the inside. Thank goodness you're smart." I lived in a world of hate. My ex-boyfriend hated me for leaving him. My husband hated me for having children and expecting him to step up to his responsibilities. The teachers hated me for telling them my child was too smart for them. The neighbors hated me for not giving a fuck what they had to say. Blacks hated me for not being afraid of them. Puerto Ricans hated me for being too Irish. I hated myself and never saw a day where I felt truly beautiful, even on my wedding day. I tried so hard to understand, to love against the overwhelming tide of hate from my own family members. They wanted too much and I began to drown. I was killed by the hatred of this world. I lost everything I had. Everything I liked, loved or owned was taken away from me. Again and again. The poison of it seeped into my soul and began to kill me like a toxin. I went to doctors. I went to shrinks. The medications themselves were killing me. One day, I got a phone call that ended my life. Literally, maybe not, but it caused the series of events that brought me to death. I hate this world right back. I spent a month on the cusp of ending my life. I said my goodbyes, packed it all up and started giving it away. I realized that in order to survive, I'd have to be reborn. People kept telling me about butterflies, but I could never be one. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't sane enough. Even if I did, there would be gardeners with pesticides telling me I didn't belong in their world. Why bother when the poison would kill me, or the boot heel of a careless passer-by? I grew wings... They aren't as bright as everyone else's, but they're mine! I learned to fly even though I've never fully transformed. I'm hideous and awful and evil and the incarnation of all things not well with the world, but you cannot deny my existence. I'm a new breed, Darcaena helle and I was born... I live... and I fly!

Flowcharts and the Art of Being Funny

Jesus Vs. the FCC

A page I follow just posted - Guess who this is??? My response was "I hope to god you're not the NSA or the FCC." After thinking about it, I REALLY hope it isn't them. I'd have a better chance with Jesus than the FCC. Page: Guess who this is??? Me: I hope to god you're not the NSA or the FCC. Page: Nope, neither, but you're sooooooo close! Me: JEZUZ??? IZZAT YOU??? Jesus: LOL, yeah, you got me, rotflmao Me: Man, you had me freaked out for a minute, lol. How you been? Jesus: Keeping busy, you know what's going on over there. Me: yeahhhhh how's THAT looking? Jesus: Not so great, but you know Dad's working overtime on it. Me: Good to know So when did you become a page admin??? I thought you stayed out of chat rooms and stuff. Jesus: Well... you know I loves me a big girl! Me: LOLOLOLOL yeah, i ALSO heard Jesus loves EVERYBODY! Jesus: I DO!! Especially on Saturday nights. DO you even KNOW how many times I had to take the wheel tonight? Me: OMG! Jesus: I TOLD you he's busy overseas! ME! ALL NIGHT! Driving those drunk idiots home... asdfghjkl;... Me: Awwwwww (HUGS) Jesus: IKR? Me: When you get some time, come visit! I just d/l the whole Floyd Discography! FCC: FREEZE!!! GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE COMPUTER!!! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR PIRACY!!! Me: aw crap Jesus: Don't worry, babe. I GOT THIS! Me: ...... Jesus: No, it's all good. I turned him into a 15 year old boy with GREAT taste in music. Now he's gonna d/l some Floyd and chillax while looking at his mom's Victoria's Secrets catalogs. Me: OMG!! You're the BEST! Jesus: ... Me: YOU KNOW I MEANT YOU WHEN I SAID IT!!! Jesus: True, true.

My Store

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

Hi there, I'd like to screw your girlfriend :) - Video

I love Ike - Video

Alphabet Reversi

For Stefano

Quando tutto va al diavolo, io voglio essere seduta su una terrazza ad ascoltare Mozart in vacanza in montagna ed essere dannatamente sexy tutto il giorno, perché dopo tutti questi anni mi sento destinata a morire tra le tue braccia.

Every Royal Story has a couple of peons...

When I found out that I'd be getting to chat with a developer of Royal Story, I was thrilled. The game was LIVE and it was like bees swarming. It was electric, and digital and the birth of a NEW THING. Being a table to talk to a developer is like being able to talk to a GOD. They create worlds, they design content. They are amazing, they have LAWS and they giveth and they taketh away.

I kept quiet in the beginning, but so many people were getting their panties in a bunch. Too many people in one group need to be connected by something. The ONLY thing that ties people to each other is THIS GAME.

It's gonna cause a lot of anguish and hurt feelings. It's all gone crazy, and here is why. Too many new people flooding the game. Too many connections through Facebook. Too many unneeded people. There's so many groups to choose from and I GAVE ONE AWAY the other day. It was a matter of principle. How dare you throw Andi from the group. PEONS!! Took about half an hour and the new group had about 100 people in it, and they all said NICE TO BE HERE :)

That's IT... I'm tellin' on ALL Y'ALL!!!

Blurred Lines" Feminist Parody

http://www.georgefm.co.nz/Video-Defined-Lines---Blurred-Lines-Feminist-Parody/tabid/238/articleID/153995/Default.aspx

The Creation of Technofreak™

The Profile Picture

I wanted something that would come across simple, and yet kinda creepy. I hope I got it.

The Banner.

I liked the idea of it being hidden beneath the surface. Someone has to bother to tilt the screen to see it, and not everyone will. Some people will and they won't get it, lol. I hope they like the city at sunset vibe I was going for. So, as the fore-front design is plain, Consolas (it's in honor of the good ol' days when digital design was a dream. If you could program a red floating circle in BASIC, you were a GOD). It's simple and vanilla, but barely visible, under the surface, the depth of colors, the angles, the richness... That is what should be explored. - Technofreak ~mdg~

An open letter to group admins.

You know, sometimes I want to leave this place. I just look at some of the mess in here and shake my head. Then I think, I can't wait to see what happens next. I have a serious love/hate relationship with this place. I mean, I don't go reporting. I don't even get involved with some of the little snarky attitudes. I just scrollllll on. I don't want 100 friend requests. I'm really in here looking for interesting people I can do an art edit for (just for the practice, I'm a Digital Photomanipulation Technofreak. In fact, I AM Digital Photomanipulation Technofreak but I go by the name Technofreak ~mdg~ there.

 I don't get involved with online relationships. I have my own love affairs, I stay out of everybody else's. If you need the advice of a Minister, a Witch or a Friend, I don't mind a 3AM chat while I work. My virtual door is always open to people in need. That's why I stay here, it's... a way to stay connected, you know? I wonder if I'm the only one sometimes. It all seems so normal, but I don't understand ANY of it. I wonder if the cancer has started to eat my brain; am I REALLY seeing this happen in front of me? There's a lot I really don't get! I don't understand why people allow themselves to be sad. I used to be sad, and it almost killed me. Several times. So I had to learn how to move past these things and move on. Some people can't seem to progress. I like to think that sometimes I'm part of the forward movement. I taught them something new, or gave them something else to think about. I never really give advice, but I help you to realize that you've already made the choice. I'm just a guide to help along the rough spots.

You can find me

You can find me here: http://morganadarkgoddess.blogspot.com (NSFW CONTENT) or my facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/MorganaDarkgoddessBBW
for more info about what I'm doing these days! - MDG

After sex conversation:

After sex conversation:

"Sweetie?"
"Yes?"
"Do you ever watch the pornos we make when I'm not around?"
"Sure, of course I do!"
"Really? Awwww, that's so sweet!"
"Yes! I even have them bookmarked!"
"Aww, I love you!"
"I love you too, baby."

Now, somewhere in my mind there's a triangle (obtuse scalene and YES I get the irony) which says, "Normal people don't HAVE conversations like this." The rest of my mind says, in a quiet, menacing voice, "Sit down. Shut up." Then it turns back to the original conversation and purrs, "Go on."

Wicked Fantasy by Morgana Darkgoddess

Getting back to the point. I really enjoy sex,

So I'm sitting here thinking of back in the dayyyy, before I friggin retired. Now, I - can't say SLEEP WITH, lol. Ok, people I have random sex with. I don't give a fuck about YOUR judgement on this, LOL. I like fucking hot guys with big dicks. Hell, I like fucking hot girls while WEARING a big dick. I mean... WHO DOESN'T, RIGHT???

...............................................^....^....^....^....

Wow, so that's what an aneurysm feels like? Wow...

Getting back to the point. I really enjoy sex, sometimes with multiple partners, I love it on cam, and I REALLY enjoy selling the DVD's. By the end of the year, I'll have MY OWN DVD, how cool is that? It really should be a sexual journey through what a day in the life of Morgana Darkgoddess is like. I'm not going to fake my surprise when I hear of a completely NEW fetish. I'm not going to fake how GOOD the sex feels, lol. I may be running an interview WHILE we're having sex. I'd like some people who are on board with the project to hit me up. You might have some experience in the field. If there's no pics, it didn't happen. I expect a resume of your fucking work AND a list of your kinks and fetishes.

Some of you people think this is a game, but it's actually hard work if you decide to do it in a non-destructive way. I believe sex should be a healing therapy, and I also believe that bad sex has a negative effect on the physical being and the soul. When the men went away for months on a hunt, you're going to tell me there wasn't some naughty hanky-panky going on in the back of that cave? It's really when people came to America, got all uptight about EVERYTHING and got so ANAL about stuff that it all hit the fan. You... WE, as a PEOPLE of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!
('murica! fuck yeah!)
We need freedom to be us, enough of this crazy uptight shit in this country. We're all DYING. To change and save the planet, there's a complete overhaul needed. And it starts with the hemp plant.

Noam Chomsky, Ladies and gentlemen.

Monsanto cock-suckers :(


I'll save you the time here, because I assume you all know the story about WHY hemp became illegal in the first place?? Gawd I hope you know this, I'll post a link later.
So my project is a guide to finding some fucking HAPPINESS. With a name like Darkgoddess?? ESPECIALLY with a name like Darkgoddess. What a fucking TALE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS THIS IS GOING TO BE!!! delusions of grandeur kind of shit, wow.

Psalm #1

PSALM #1

Sit DOWN, Morgana... you're yelling again, dear.
(checkles sheepishly) Hee heee heee heee heee heeee...
Now you, hush and behave yourself.
(gives the pouty lips and the puppy dog eyes; It always works)
Now that's not gonna wor... 
(sends out a wave of ADORABLE CHARM at a +50 Level. It's a short blast, but 98% effective on males. On females, it's only a +5.)
OH FINE... (exasperated smile)
(Smiles and bats her eyelashes. Holy fuck, say I... ain't I a fucking adorable? Bats lashes again with a smile of pure demonic insanity. Heee heee heeee heeeee...)

RS side mission proposal

Altessa has a cousin to the East, named Morgana :)

(I'd like my name used because I couldn't WAIT for people to start thinking, "Wait, what? Nahhh...".)

This cousin to the East thinks the people of your kingdom are lazy and selfish. 

Mission: Have 5 Willow trees and 3 Large rocks on your property.

Chop 60 wood and 75 stone from neighbors kingdoms.

Make one Orange Amber gemstone in the workshop.

6 sap, 7 silver ore 2 hours

Hospitality Award - Orange - Orange Amber

Morgana says, "They may not be lazy, but they're still selfish!"

Mission: Tend 50 crops, 50 flowers and 50 trees on neighboring kingdoms

Make one Morganite gemstone in the kitchen.

10 Humble Hearts, 10 Cherries, 50 Dewdrops, 20 Butterfly nectar

Kindness Award - pink -Morganite

Morgana thinks this is still not proof of the kingdom being a good neighbor.

Mission: Ask neighbors for 25 letters of good character from neighbors.

Use 25 letters of good character from neighbors.

Congeniality Award - Green - Adventurine

Morgana has seen the error of her thinking, and bestows the Prince/Princess with a gift. A statue of the prince/princess (or something very artistic and classic) with the 3 gem stones in the base.

If I were Bashar al-Assad's GIRLFRIEND, I'd...

Just sayin'...

If I were Bashar al-Assad,

If I were Bashar al-Assad, I'd personally move all my chemical weaponry Jusssst upwind of our closest third-world ally, and plant my butt right on top of them and say... "Goooooo ahead." All the usual targets? I'd take whatever women, children and PUPPIES I could get my regime to round up at gunpoint - a.k.a. anyone who's still IN Syria. (They're RUNNING ILLEGALLY INTO OTHER COUNTRIES TO ESCAPE THIS STRIKE. They KNOW something bad is going to happen.) And when the bombs hit, either poisoning the allies, or worse YET, RUSSIA, CHINA, JAPAN, etc... OR - killing THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE being used as a human shield? 

Yeah..... that's what I'm thinking.

Party 9/7/13 xxx version

God, I f**king LOVE to be me

God, I fucking LOVE to be me.

(video deleted)

I really do. There are times when I'm NOT me, and they suck. OH MY GODDESS, it really does suck NOT to be me. I'm amazing. I'm open and honest without being a bitch, although people have been known to get butt-hurt. I didn't mean whatever I say to be MEAN, I just say them because it's the TRUTH. Blatant honesty. People say I have no filters, but I DOOOO. I think of TEN things I could say before I pick the right one. The one I choose. I choose because it made ME laugh inside my own head. Oh HEAVENS, yes... do I feel the love? Amen! DO I feel the light and the spirit inside my weary soul? AMEN!!! PRAISE JAH!!! Do I radiate this light and spirit onto others???

pause

I hope I do.

I want to be a pure creature of light and spirit. My name is Darkgoddess to remind myself daily that I am a survivor of the darkness. I surpassed it. I am a spirit of enlightenment, a child of the Universe. I'm a conductor through the ephemeral, bringing those who choose to join me into the shade of LIGHT that I resonate best in.

I've been trying to find out WHICH medium that is. I've tried everything. Poetry, fiction, eventually NON fiction, which was just scarrrrrrrry (shudder). I'm a being of the technological age. I'm digital. It's the unlimited space that ONLY exists inside a digital world. It's a dimension of endless dimensions. It's beautiful, and I LIVE there.

Because I live here, I have to become a digital being myself. You give yourself a name. You make your avatar. You get one (or more, lol) accounts and you SIGN. IN.

I "signed in" a long time ago. Not FACEBOOK, although I use the internet to widely connect with as many people as I can. I like meeting other digital people as long as they resonate in beautiful patterns with my own vibration. Those who dull my vibes, man, are sent HOME. They mama didn't raise them right.

Post Labor Day Long Island Kink Fest

I can't wait for this!!! I'm so excited to hang out with Mistress Geneva again! 

The perils of being yourself

One of the big bad facts of life is - nobody likes you. They tell us in the after school specials and memes across the world wide internet that we should just be who we are and let the chips fall where they may. Not a shred of truth in it. Who we are is a mess.

We monitor what we say and do, we look to others for correct responses. We know that if we say what's really on our minds that it would be hurtful and mean. We don't really give a shit how your day went, and we sure don't give a fuck if you have a nice day once you're out of eyesight. We bless people for sneezing when we're disgusted by the germs they've just spewed into our air space. We thank them what doing what we secretly consider to be their PURPOSE in life. You bagged my groceries? Good, it's your fucking JOB, ain't it? Our pleases are in truth 'gimmees' and our thank you's are 'about damned time's'.

I've asked people what the one thing they liked most about me was, and they usually say my almost diabolical skills at blow jobs, but a close second is my honesty. There is the problem. If for some reason you don't like me and have gotten out of my way to go do your own thing, consider yourself lucky. The me you don't like is only a tenth of the ME I am, and you SURE wouldn't like that one. So many times, I have to pause and come up with something way nicer to say to people and while I can come up with four or five horrible ones I usually try the most polite way.

People have said I have no filter but I do have them. I take the way I truly feel about things and run it under the flow of sunlight and rainbows that is the paragon of decency. Sometimes the fuck you doesn't wash off all the way. That's when people get upset with me. I know how grimy the sugar-water gets after I've cleaned my thoughts and put them out there. I'm me. There are times when even I'm amazed at how much bile is spewed, how much venom my words can drip, and I have my own reactions to it. Sometimes I shudder when I think of what I could have said or done. Sometimes I laugh and think they really do have this coming. It's that filter I keep in place that lessens the blow.

Be yourself.

Be yourself and leave me the fuck alone... I mean, heh. Um, thanks, you too.

STEPPING UP

I was having a dream about the zombie apocalypse (I always have to spell check the word even though I use it so much, lol) and while it wasn't blood and gore, it was telling the story of three people. It started from the beginning and focused on their own personal journey of right and wrong, what they would do when faced with certain situations and at what point does a child, a teen, and a man move up to the next stage in their development as a HUMAN being. If it isn't a tv series, it should be a movie :) I lit it beautifully and casted shadows in all the right places. It made me feel for the people involved although I didn't know them. We all have to go through points where we have to make decisions that are beyond us. How we deal with them, how we step up - almost literally STEPPING UP - makes us grow and connect and become better than we are. In our own ways, we are all heroes.

a quickie about the game

You set the rules, but I made the game.
Been there before, and it's still the same.
Throwing lies like dice, losing face.
Try to win by adding that extra ace.
I came from hustler stock, feel me?
My poker face smiles but don't reveal me.

Inspired by a friend's post on FB

I put my life on the line, what do you bring to the table? I bring an old soul, willing and able. The roads were hard and my struggle and pain brought no gain, I went insane, I went through hell and back again. The shadows brought me to the crossroads and left me there, didn't care, I thought my life was unfair. Lost in the dark I found a spark of hope inside of me, and through uncertainty, I found my soul and I was free. So what it do, I ask of you, that brings you to my door? You're unsure and never seen a chick like ME before. You're gonna find I have a mind and try to play? Nah, fool, you slay me, get on your knees and pray I don't see what's within you, spin you and kick you after I sin you. I'm good at it, I had a lifetime of being screwed by fools like you. Yeah it's true, would this pretty smile grin and lie to you?

Pieces of mind

Late at night when it's too quiet, I listen to the voices. Nagging, digging, poisonous. Riotous and disquieting images are frightening and they lead me to bad choices. They fester and linger leaving residue and grime. I am a victim of a dirty mind like Lady Macbeth, haunted by the foreshadowing of death. All the sins of the past burning a hole in my soul, tearing a part from my heart. I try to leave it to the side and carry on, but damage done, nowhere to run when the demons are already inside. Nowhere to hide when the chemicals you create can seal your fate. Medicate and become a drone? No, my soul is my own, even if perfectly flawed and beautifully broken. Each word, each picture created a token to be left in my wake when my life is at stake. Seeking forgiveness for crimes never committed, doomed to hell and never acquitted. An unrequited love burning, still yearning. The sentence being twenty years, the cause of this leading to all my fears that I will not see the end. No chance to amend or undo. No hope to connect and renew. With no moral compass, I'm just spinning as the chances of winning are undone. Battles may be lost but the war is never won. I relinquished hope to keep sanity. My narcissism and vanity are a sham, to keep the emotional tide behind a dam. Reinvention of self and purpose fading, doubt creeping and pervading. This time the question is Me: To be or not to be.

You're pretty... on the inside.

Who the FUCK tells a child that?
Assholes.

Navigating the sanity

Navigating the sanity, trying to keep my humanity.
Sired by Sagittarius, birthed by Gemini. My whole life was do or die.
Damaged brain, insane, brought up dragged by the hair.
Talking to shadows and pretending that I wasn't there.
It takes a toll and I paid it. It took some time, but I made it.
Never thought I'd see twenty, passed that number by plenty.
So as it draws to it's end, I'm thankful for loving friends
who stood by me through my choices, who helped drown out the voices,
but part of that dynamic is me and my journey to be free.
I give and take what I can while in keeping with the plan
but the chaos still astounds me. As it surrounds me,
I laugh and enjoy the ride. You can take my heart but you can't take my pride.
With time I can build it up, I never stopped believing although the acts may be deceiving.
Who are you to know my mind? You'd be amazed at what you'd find.
Earthbound scientist, and a teacher. Spiritual healer, truth seeker.
Lover to many, friend to few but I do what I need to do.
A cracked clock can still work fine. A broken heart can mend in time.